Wednesday, December 31, 2003
Crappy New Jeer
Hello, and thank you for joining us. In case you didn’t know, today is the last day of 2003 and the first day of the rest of your life. So what will you do on this day of commencement? Meditate? Speculate? Fornicate? You have choices. Will you do the right thing? Lose that weight? Quit that vice? Eat more fibre? Infinite choices, finite time. Cruel isn’t it? ↑
Wednesday, December 24, 2003
Merry Covetousness
For many Christian families around the world, tomorrow will mark the first time that their child celebrates Christmas. “Baby’s first Christmas” is a memorable rite, that wouldn’t be complete without photograph-endowed tree ornaments, sliver plated cenotaphs and videotaped proof to corroborate the celebration. Baby, will watch in starry-eyed wonder as shiny, new things bring his family unspeakable joy. He will associate the sound of glee with the smell of his kin's booze-burdened breath. And of course, his Mommy and Daddy will record every moment… so that in a few years when Baby turns into a greedy, little ingrate who cries when he doesn’t get the latest video game or robotic toy… screaming about how much he hates them… imbibing alcohol and smoking pot with his friends, they can muse over when exactly Baby changed into this materialistic, self-indulgent monster and which rap artist is to blame. Merry Bling Bling. ↑
Friday, December 19, 2003
Whines & Cheeses
It seems that every year I grow a little bit older, a little bit wiser and increasingly more bitter. Especially towards Christmas. I may not be green and furry, but I despise this retail ritual with grinch-like abandon. We are horrible, gluttonous, filthy consumers. The more we devour, the more we want. It’s sick. I hope I get an XBOX for Jesus’s birthday. ↑
Friday, December 12, 2003
Tuesday, December 09, 2003
E-Valuation Revisited
While still waiting for that elusive and supposedly annual review, it was announced in a team meeting yesterday that I have yet another new boss. This is the sixth official boss in less than 17 months. The unofficial boss has until tomorrow to complete my 2003 performance appraisal. This boss is out of the office today and I've got a roster full of meetings already tomorrow. One of which is a "I want to get to know you" chat with the new boss. I can't wait. ↑ |